I’m an irritable person. It’s something I have never been able to shift. It just seems that most members of society have it out for me and always find some way to grind my gears. In the last few months I have been more irritable than ever so decided that I would compile a list of some of my biggest pet peeves. Yes, that is how annoyed I get at the human race.
- Ignorant people.
I see ignorance taking two possible strands in people. There are those who are closed minded being the first type of ignorant but this is one variation I have learnt to shake off. They are rude and often unbearable but it’s unlikely that you will ever change their views. However, ignorance in the form of “I will try and talk about something that clearly I have no idea about” is the type o
f ignorance that really gets on my tits. Why try and act educated and knowledgeable about a subject you know nothing about? We can see right through it. You don’t look intuitive at all my friend, you look like a twat.
- People who put milk in before hot water when making tea.
“PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THIS?” Yes, I have witnessed it firsthand. It broke my heart to see my most precious beverage mutilated in such an unkind manner. I don’t like to say anyone’s way of doing something is wrong but in this case it is wrong. These people miss out a vital step known as brewing. That’s how the tea gets its flavour…Infusion in hot water… INFUSION! Brew the bastard you crazy fools! You’re making tea, not milky water!
- Couples that sit next to each other in restaurants.
This peeve may stem from my intolerance to excessive PDAs. I just don’t get it! We all know you’re together, we all know you love each other, you are side by side most minutes of the day, can you not separate your bodies for just a short period of time? It’s the epitome of inducing third wheel syndrome. Whether you’re alone with this couple or not, they are still able to make you feel really freaking uncomfortable. Please, just gain some independence.
- People who ask, “Can I ask you a question?”
You just asked a question. So why ask a question about asking a question? It’s annoying…
- Children crying in public.
Before I start I’d like to clear up that I’m not some crazy anti-child activist who detests people under four foot. No, we were all children once. But listening to the screeching and wailing from a child that I have no connec
tion to makes me want to rip out my hair and run off into the light. The bratty ones are the worst! You know those kids who have tantrums? Those fuckers get to me. And I understand, “they’re children, it’s not their fault, crying is what they do,” yet every time I hear an ounce of squealing all I want to do is isolate myself with a glass of wine and a snuggie to help drown my sorrows of pubescent ‘humans.’ Dear God I hope I was never that annoying.
- Music elitism.
According to the Urban Dictionary (no comment), music elitism can be defined as, “the valuing of one’s own musical tastes as the standard by which all music should be made, or the standard that all others should use to choose what music they listen to…” I’m sorry but fuck that. In fact, i’m not sorry at all and I shall curse at these ridiculous people all I want. I feel that anyone who can judge someones musical taste is a complete eejit. Music is art. Therefore appreciated by people in different lights. Pffft…leads nicely back to ignorance. You people have the brains of a walnut!
- Noisy chewers.
These are some of the most irritating fuckers to roam the planet. Most people would agree, that hearing the slobbery slapping of someone’s dinner is not a pleasant sound. Ah yes, you may be enjoying it but I really couldn’t give two shit’s how potatoes sounds sloshing about in your massive gob. Some would say that it’s not so bad, at least they aren’t chewing with their mouth open… well that’s just another story!
- People who try to get on public transport before others have exited.
People like this have always pissed me off. I mean, what is the point of pushing your way onto the bus just to have to move to let the severely and quite rightly annoyed passengers off?! However, it wasn’t until quite recently that I discovered just how stubborn these people are. About a month ago I found myself at my destination when I went to step off the train. But 
before my foot even graced the floor outside the machine I was thrust back on by a family of four. “Um, excuse me?” Of course they just ignored me taking up my exit with their massive egos. Hearing the beep of the door to my exit about to close I made a break for it shoving the father out of the train with me. Luckily he managed to jump back on. I say luckily. It would have been a lot funnier to see him there abandoned. Anyway, story over, these people are just inconsiderate twats.
Vicky Crossley Blogs 